Walmart Walk Of Shame

So, this is pretty simple...I never thought I would be the tackiest spectacle one would see walking around a Walmart! However, this was indeed the situation last monday  evening. I'm not actually sure this has anything to do with being a mother, but my children were with me and it was my daughter who helped turn me into said spectacle, so I'm blogging about it.
My shoe broke. That's it. That's all that happened. We were checking out with our full cart of groceries, when Ayla- trying to help me load the groceries on the counter- stepped on my flip-flop and the thong ripped right out of it.
Now, in my experience, there is just no honestly graceful way to handle the moment a shoe breaks. There's this sort of "trip" move that automatically occurs as your foot springs free of the device that kept it restrained only the moment before.
So instantly, you're busy pretending that you don't care that you tripped, (you know...like, "Oh, i meant to do that!") and at the same time, your mind quickly begins scrambling for a solution to this ridiculous problem.
At this point, I had three options available to me to examine/fix my shoe. 1) I could bend down and attempt to fix it while I was hunched over and my three year old continued to slam eggs, milk and bananas onto the conveyer belt. 2) I could lift my foot up to eye level while attempting to balance on one foot as I fixed the cursed shoe. 3) I could take it off and stand there with one bare foot while I fixed it. 
I opted to to take it off and fix it. Let me tell you that just standing in Walmart with one shoe off made me want to bleach not only my entire foot, but the leg attached to it as well! I'm not even sure what I think is happening on the floors of Walmart that disgusts me on such a level, but I was completely grossed out. 
So, I managed to repair the shoe just enough to keep it on my foot during the check-out process but within two steps of heading for the exit, the thong popped free once again.
Now here is what I could not figure out- so please feel free to comment at the end of this post...
Does it make more of a spectacle to: 
A)  walk with one shoe on and one shoe off (gross!)
B) walk with both shoes off (double gross!)
C) drag my foot along the floor- as though I have a major physical handicap- but which at least keeps the shoe on my foot?
I opted for option D), which was to keep the shoe on, take approximately one and a half dragging steps, have it break again, attempt to fix it, then take another one and a half steps.
I did this until it was no longer possible to walk this way, at which point, I just took off my shoe. Never was I so careful not to make eye contact with another human being as I was, on this long walk to my car. There's a reason that the rule is : 'No shoes, No shirt, No service'! No shoes is in the top three! No one ever posts a sign that says 'No pants-No service'. But 'No Shoes' is at the top of the list. No one wants to see another person walking around barefoot in the same place they're buying their food! No one!
Now, I have seen those "people of Walmart" videos on YouTube. I've watched them with the appropriate hand-over-mouth shock that someone would go shopping, wearing not much  more than a braided goatee, and yellow cowboy boots. But, I realize now, that the woman wearing that "get-up" probably just threw in all of her laundry for the week, realized that she forgot to buy fabric softener and had to make a bee-line for the store. I will no longer judge since I know she's probably well aware of the fact that her hot pink thong is creeping out the back of her leggings (which are about three sizes too small). She's also probably aware of the fact that, even though her yellow cowboy boots usually compliment any outfit...it may have been a "miss" just this once. 
I was thrilled to actually get into my car that evening. I laughed out loud and drove home barefoot. Later on, when I told my husband about my shoe breaking, you know what his response was? 
"You walked around Walmart without shoes on?!?!" 
I literally had to explain in some detail that this was certainly not by choice. Even he could not muster up sympathy before distaste. 
It has occurred to me during the typing of this, that parenthood can often be like this situation. There's nothing like a one year olds temper tantrum in a public place, to give you the same panicked feeling I had when I first felt my shoe break! There's often no more reasoning with my one year old than there is with my flip-flop. (Actually, sometimes there is no more reasoning with grown ups, than there is with a flip-flop! Lol!)
So, for all you parents who have ever dealt with a situation simply by trying to get out of it with some shred of dignity intact...youre awesome! As for me...I'm off to buy some yellow cowboy boots. I hear they compliment any outfit!