If you love to feel guilty, become a mother! I don't know if it's just the day and age we live in that produces these feelings, or if mothers since the beginning of time have dealt with this. It's this sort of nagging feeling that no matter what you do, you're probably screwing up your child in some way, shape or form.
I noticed this phenomena almost as soon as my daughter was born. There are not only opinions about how to feed, clothe and love a child, there are studies, data and evidence to back up many different sides to any given argument. There are also studies discrediting the original studies, data and evidence- as well as any doctors, authors and scientists involved in completion of said studies.
There are then studies and data to prove the "discreditors" biased and wrong-as well as to show that the discreditors of the discreditors have an uber-evil ulterior motive for attempting to discredit the discreditors. For every study and experiment I read, there are books, testimonials, websites, links and professionals involved to explain the research and findings, resulting in their camp coming to the correct conclusion. Then someone posts their opinion as a status update on Facebook and the world almost ends!
I really am somewhat perturbed that all the mothers of the world haven't been able to put their heads together and come up with some sort of a handbook to hand out every time someone has a baby; something titled "Everything you need to know about child rearing in every possible situation and circumstance life can possibly throw at you."
As it stands, no such book exists, so I am left to wonder if Crewe's entire future is doomed because he is 20 months old and cannot yet count to ten.
When I say, "Let's count, Crewe," he gets a big grin on his face and proclaims, "Twooo"!!! Don't get me wrong- he says it with so much enthusiasm and joy that it's completely adorable! He'll actually go as high as three, which is also quite adorable. I'm counting "1..2..3..4..5.."and he's going, "twoo!, free!, twoo!, free!"...it's hilarious!
But then I flash to some image in his future- he's sitting across the desk from the dean at some wonderful ivy league school, and the dean says, "I'm sorry son, your cognitive math skills are not up to par for admittance into our wonderful ivy league school. Let me ask you something- did your mother teach you to count to ten by the time you were 20 months old?"
Then Crewe will sadly say, "No sir...no she didn't. She didn't teach me to count past free." Guilt.
Even if we could work out the counting issues, I still feel a sense of motherhood guilt that I'm probably messing something up for Ayla. I mean, when we play hide-n-seek, she always hides in the same spot! What does this mean?! There's probably an entire book about this very issue; written by some powerful and prominent child psychologist, with data and evidence proving hinderance to her emotional, physical and mental well being if she doesn't learn to hide in different spots.
However, the very fact that the book is probably in existence means that there will surely be another book or article discrediting the research and findings, as well as a third party to discredit the original discreditors data and evidence. Yikes.
The bottom line is that I want the best for my kids and "the mom in my mind" had far more answers on parenting issues big and small than what I do in reality. Hopefully by the time they're teenagers, I'll have it all figured out. Lol!!
In the meantime, Ayla is hiding, so Crewe and I are going to count to "free" and go find her. I have a feeling she's hiding in her closet.....
Haha!! Last year when we'd play hide-and-seek, the girls would hide. Then when I was done counting...I'd say, "Where's Alayna?" Her response? "I'M IN HERE!!" Lol!
ReplyDeleteJust passing through and read this. Loved your insights.:) I agree with you on the studies thing. I had a friend private message me about vaccinations today. I said it's interesting in a "tolerant" society, we can be so hateful when someone doesn't see things the way we would. I have a feeling your kids are going to be ones getting paid to wade through the emotional mess of the one's counting to 20 already.:) Great read!
ReplyDeleteHolls, this is Uncle Scott and that is some great writing.The experts are saying that sponge Bob is screwing up kids and now I feel guilty because Jarrett has watched every episode and can repeat every word. He is @&!# ed
ReplyDeleteaccording to the experts. Recently He has been picked by his teachers to be in a gifted program
at school so i'm wondering if its for the challenged or the smart. Jarrett has proved the experts wrong. You go Girl!
@ Tahnee- lol! That's so funny... Ayla doesnt say anything, she just sits there giggling loudly. :)
ReplyDelete@ Jessica- thank you so much for the kind words! Yeah...you gotta love the studied debates over vaccinations. Each side of the argument and findings ends with the parents potentially allowing their child to become sick, diseased or dead. Lol!
@ Uncle Scott- that's so funny... I just saw those articles claiming Sponge Bob is detrimental to their intellectual growth but I think there's probably a study for every cartoon on television. Someone else recently told me about an article they read claiming that Barney is not helpful for kids to watch, since it doesn't help them learn to deal with real life problems! Lol! Lol! Lol!